If you have kids, you've got stress in your life. And if your child has special needs, you likely have more than your share. Although stress can be protective, as in the 'fight or flight' response when threatened with immediate harm, or a positive response which spurs us to action, too much stress over a long period of time can have very negative effects on our emotions and on our health.
In a now famous American study from 1967, Dr. Thomas H. Holmes and Dr. Richard H. Rahe developed a do-it-yourself stress test called the "Social Readjustment Rating Scale." To find your stress level, circle every experience that you have had in the last 12 months and total the points.
100 death of a spouse
73 divorce
65 marital separation
63 detention in jail or other institution
63 death of a close family member
53 major personal injury or illness
50 marriage
47 fired from work
45 marital reconciliation
45 retirement
44 change in health or behavior of family member
40 pregnancy
40 sex difficulties
39 gain of new family member through birth, adoption, or marriage
39 major business readjustment
38 change in financial state
37 death of close friend
36 change to a different line of work
35 change in number of arguments with partner
31 taking on a new mortgage
30 foreclosure on a mortgage or loan
29 change in responsibilities
29 son/daughter leaves home
29 trouble with in-laws
28 outstanding personal achievement
26 partner begins/stops work
26 starting or finishing school
25 change in living conditions
24 revision of personal habits
23 trouble with boss
20 change in working hours or conditions
20 change in residence
20 change in schools
19 change in recreational habits
19 change in church activities
18 change in social activities
17 major purchase such as a new car
16 change in sleeping habits
15 change in number of family gatherings
15 change in eating habits
13 vacation
12 Christmas or holiday observance
11 minor violation of the law
Holmes and Rahe consider a score of less than 150 to be minor stress. Those who score 150-199 are experiencing mild stress, 200-299 are experiencing moderate stress, and a score over 300 is someone experiencing major stress. It is estimated that 35% of those with a score below 150 will experience an illness or accident within two years, while those with a score between 150 and 300 have a 51% chance, and those with a score over 300 have an 80% chance of a significant illness or accident.
Although you might not be able to control the stressful events in your life, you do have control over your response to them and the effect that they have on your life. The negative effects of stress can be reduced by such things as getting enough rest, exercise, good nutrition, and taking some time for yourself.